The Problems with Compliance

Compliance to instruction is considered to be very important in ABA. The children are expected to listen to instruction and follow. If they do not, the adult/parent/facilitator is supposed to follow through. Sounds good, right? What can possibly go wrong with it?

The basic assumptions behind compliance

The child does not know anything. Everything needs to be taught. Learning cannot happen without compliance. Obedience is essential.

The problems

The child gets used to being told everything all the time. The child does not exercise any agency. The child growing up this way finds it difficult to say ‘no’ or to negotiate. The child is not able to or finds it difficult to make decisions.

Bigger problems

The person may develop problem behaviors like aggression or self injury as ‘compliance’ does not give space to escape a situation. Mindless compliance also does not build an ethical compass, reasoning and one’s own value system. Without this, the person is always dependent on a directive to conduct themselves. This causes a lot of frustration.

What is the solution then?

The answer is ‘Co-operation’. ABA also talks about cooperation as a skill. As humans, we all need each other and so do children with autism. ABA also talks about pairing with the child to build mutual trust. Let us remember that ‘Trust’ is a two way street.

When the focus is on cooperation, the usual assumptions are

The child may have his or her own thoughts. The child is unable to communicate, therefore, we do not have access to much of their thinking. The only observable way is behavior and it is limited.

Once we recognise that our ability to observe is limited, we embark on a journey of discovery as a therapist along with the child.

Play

The ‘Pairing’ starts here. We play with the child. We let the child lead the play and take control. We also stay firm when it comes to being safe. This is not about pleasing the child, this is about getting to know the child and how they interact with the environment and people. Play as a teaching-learning tool plays a significant role in establishing trust.

Rule following

The best way to teach rules is through games. There is no prerequisite skill needed to play games. All children love to have fun. The child may not be interested in games, but a game is an equaliser as it makes everyone follow the same rules. The child sees everyone doing what is asked of him or her and that provides powerful modeling. A very simple way to do it is through turn taking. We can do this for any activity. There are many sitting games, moving games, games using music etc.

Many people say that their children are not interested in games. It does not matter. They may not show their interest as you expect. Keep at it, find new games, find things that appeal to the children sensorially, find anything that might catch the child’s interest. It is challenging, but it is totally worth it. In my practice, I see that children do recognise when you put in your effort and thought to understand them and be with them. Things do move.

Cooperation - how does it help?

It relies on collaboration, fostering a two way relationship between the child and the adult. It relies on communication, where listening is mutual. It gives equal space to the child. The child actively engages in decision making, therefore learns to say ‘no’. Feedback is mutual. Emotional regulation is part of the entire exercise. Gives a lot of scope to work on intangible/abstract aspects of a relationship. High self worth and self esteem. Motivated learners.

Challenges

A child who is used to this relies on reasoning, therefore, an adult must think through before they ask them to do anything. The child may say ‘no’ more frequently, may show more resistance initially. It is a time and resource consuming exercise. Requires a lot of patience from the therapists and parents.

What next?

Once we work on cooperation, rely on reasoning and respecting a child’s agency, it gives so much space to work on ‘Responsibility’, ‘What is okay and not okay’, ‘Boundaries’. This clears the ground for children to become independent.